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|Original Air Date:||August 8, 1997|
|Guest Stars:||Judy Tenuta, Bobcat Goldthwait|
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(Opening theme & titles)
Tansut (T): Greetings, this is Tansut, welcoming you to the first ever Space Ghost Coast to Coast 37th show anniversary celebration spectacular-mathon. Tonight, funny man Bobcat Goldthwait, and funny woman Judy Tenuta. And now, your friend and mine, that ghost host with the most, Spaaace Ghooost!
Space Ghost (SG): (invisos in, coughing) Greetings, TV-watching citizens! I am Space Ghost, and I'm tickled pink to be here!
Zorak (Z): Tickled stupid, you mean.
SG: (stares at Zorak, sniffs) Before we begin, let me introduce you to the director of tonight's festivities, that fabulous hot rock himself, Moltar!
Audience (A): (applause)
Moltar (M): Hey, don't get up, really.
SG: And, over here, we have my band leader, and indentured mantis-servant, Zorak, and the Original Way Outs! (Way Outs play a synthesized excerpt from "William Tell Overature") And we'd like to welcome you to... (takes deep breath) The first ever Space Ghost anniversary spectacular-mathon, uh, show.
Z: Whoop de doodle do!
SG: You know, kids, tonight is a special notch in the belt that is the Space Ghost saga.
Z: Ehhh, Space Ghost, what anniversary is this, anyway?
SG: Weren't you listening, Zorak? It's my 37th show anniversary! (smile sparkles)
Z: I never heard of anybody celebrating their 37th anniversary before! It's dopey.
SG: It's not dopey! It's our 37th show! That's an anniversary, right? Darn tootin' it is! So, hap-hap-happy anniversary it is, and shut up Zorak, because you're not gonna rain on my charade.
T: Well, I don't know what I'm doing here, either.
Z: (looks around)
SG: (looks around)
T: (in recording booth, behind a window) They called me twenty minutes ago, shoved these notes in my hand, what do they expect? (microphone feedback increases in volume) Buncha morons!
M: Uh, Tansut?
T: Let 'em fire me, I don't care.
M: Uh, your mike's on, man.
T: Ohhhhh, fluff! Nobody showed me how to do this! (feedback increases again) (finally turns microphone off)
SG: Oh-kay! Let's get on with it, shall we? (invisos to desk, with new music) (Ding dong!) Say, I wonder who that could be?
M: It's your first anniversary guest, Space Ghost, funny lady Judy Tenuta (she appears on control room monitor)
Judy Tenuta (JT): I'm ready, honey!
SG: Judy! Welcome back to the show!
JT: Oh-h-h-h-h-h! Space Ghost! I'm so excited!
SG: Me too!
Z: Oooh! Me too!
SG: So, Judy gal, what have you been doing since I last saw you?
JT: Oh! Space Ghost, as you know, I rule the western hemisphere!
SG: That's nice, must keep you busy.
JT: (plays accordion and sings) I rule, I rule, I rule.
SG: Uh, Judy...
SG: Stuff a sock in it, Tenuta.
JT: (dances with accordion, to weird background sound)
SG: Judy, I've asked you to come back to celebrate my anniversary with me! Now, celebrate!
SG: Don't sing, Judy.
JT: (plays accordion and sings) Happy anniversary, happy anniversary, happy anniversary, Spaaaace Ghost! Oh-h-h-h-h-h! (spins around)
JT: Look at this! (swings her accordion up with her chest, then sits down)
Z: Must I?
JT: I can make myself invisible. You cannot see me now! (puts her hands in front of her face)
SG: Uh, yes I can.
JT: No-o-o-o-o! You cannot...
SG: Yes I can! (aims his power bands at monitor)
JT: No! His rays cannot harm me, no-o-o!
SG: (lowers his power bands, sighs)
JT: (shaking her head back and forth, singing) Hair dance, hair dance, don't be a square, dance! Hair dance!
SG: (stares back silently)
JT: (full face on monitor, puckering for Space Ghost) (Smoooooch!)
SG: Hmmm. Okay, I think it's time for Judy Jetson here to blast off.
M: Gotcha. (throws lever to send her away)
JT: (still on studio monitor) Oh, you pig!
SG: Aaah! Moltar!
M: I know, I know. (throws more levers, control room monitor changes several times, finally shows Tansut's booth)
T: Uh, excuse me. Are we going to commercial now?
T: Oh, sorry, don't mind me. (Moltar throws lever, control room monitor shows static)
SG: (Ding dong!) Aha! Our next guest! (sniff sniff sniff sniff) Hey! I smell evil!
M: Space Ghost...
Chad Ghostal (CG): (evil laugh)
M: ... It's your evil twin brother.
SG: Aaaaah! Can't talk, Chad, I have a hernia!
CG: Hey hey, relax, baby, like, I'm not here to spread terror.
CG: I just wanted to swing by and check out the old Ghost Pad. You know, I had a real blast the last time I saw you, Taddles. A real blast. (evil laugh)
SG: Yeah, I bet you did. You and that creepy Elvira woman, pawwing each other. Yuck!
CG: Oh, forget that chick, Taddy Bear, I already did. I'm looking for some new action, you dig? Some new kicks, know what I mean, butterbean?
SG: Not a whiff, Chad.
CG: Then let me clue ya, Tadville. I want to host the show again. (evil laugh)
SG: Oh no, no no no no no!
CG: Okay Tad, be that way. Now I'm glad I left that surprise for you in your futon this morning. (evil laugh) B'da b'da! (evil laugh)
SG: Oh, that was you, huh?
CG: Well, I'll be in touch. Later, cats 'n kittens! (purrs) (barks)
Moltar & Zorak (M&Z): (in unison) Bye, Chad!
Z: I like your brother.
SG: You do not!
JT: (reappears on monitor) Look at my cheekbones!
SG: Aaaaah! Moltar, break!
T: (groans) Ten pounds of sausage in a five pound sack!
T: Oh, uh, coming up next, more stuff!
T: (sings) Welcome back! (normal voice) Oooh! Hey! I nailed that one!
SG: (Ding dong!) What now, Birdman?
M: Relax, man, it's Bobcat. He's cool. (Bobcat is on control room monitor, waves at Moltar)
SG: Ladies and gentlemen, it's special anniversary guest Bobcat Goldthwait.
Bobcat Goldthwait (BG): I tell ya, it's really been great here, to be back here, Space Ghost.
SG: It's great to have you. So, it's my 37th show anniversary, Bobcat.
BG: You should slap yourself on the back.
Z: He should slap himself in the face.
SG: (slaps himself in the face)
BG: (laugh, then shrieking laugh, then starts to cry)
SG: So, Bob-a-rella, did ya bring me anything special for my anniversary?
BG: Oh, I brought you many things. (pause)
SG: (smiles at camera)
BG: I'm lyin', man, what can I get ya, you don't even wear slacks or trousers or pants, you know...
SG: Oh, that's okay, just as long as you don't sing me a stupid song or anything.
BG: (starts making gibbering noises, shaking his head back and forth)
M: Look out, I think he's gonna sing!
SG: He's not gonna sing, Moltar. You're.. not gonna sing, are you, Bobcat?
BG: Yes I am.
SG: Ohhh brother.
Z: Sing! Sing, you fool! Sing like a maniac! (shakes his arm)
BG: Okay. (takes a deep breath, then shouts) SPACE GHOST COAST TO COAST, SPACE GHOST COAST TO COAST, SPACE GHOST COAST TO COAST, AGH AGH AGH AGH AGH!
BG: Could you buy the sincerity of that? Yeah, I, it really worked for me.
Z: Hmmmm, it had a good beat, and I could kill you to it. I give it a 75. (holding a sign with "75")
BG: I'm tellin' ya, I'm gonna get up, and I'm gonna dope-slap that bug.
M: Fine! Fine!
SG: Be my guest, Bobcat! Dope-slap away!
BG: Zorak, I'm gonna dope-slap ya!
Z: (mocking) O-o-o-o-h, I'm so frightened!
BG: (makes face at Zorak) (to Space Ghost) How did you get a show with a cricket?
Z: I'm a loc-, er, mantis!
BG: Apparently, in, somewhere in show business, you shoulda went paper instead of scissors.
Z: Yeah, look who's talking, the talk show arsonist!
BG: I'm serious, I will, I will clean that bug's clock so fast!
BG: You just tell him that, I, I, I personally put two of the Bugaloos in the hospital.
SG: I think he heard you.
BG: (exaggerated wink)
SG: Um, look, Bobby-cat, I apologize about the bug.
BG: Alright. Yah-yah-yah-yah-yah-yah-yah!
SG: I try to make him behave, but...
BG: (looks to his right) Am I done, is that enough community service? (looks front and nods)
SG: (sighs) Any last words of anniversary wisdom for the little people at home?
BG: Yeah. (pounds fist into his palm) You gotta make your own fun, Space Ghost.
BG: You gotta make your own fun.
SG: I tried to make my own fun, look what it got me! Happy anniversary to me!
BG: (sticks his tongue out at Space Ghost)
SG: Whoop de doo. Moltar, are we done?
M: Uh, we still got that cheap clip thing.
SG: That's right! This should be great, folks. It's a sparkling career retrospective to me! Space Ghost! Roll 'em!
M: (throws lever, countdown begins)
(Title screen shows: "OUR MAN SPACE GHOST / THE DIRECTOR'S CUT", followed by numerous "Space Ghost" cartoon clips of him getting blasted, pounded, frozen, slammed, by numerous enemies)
SG: That was no sparkling tribute! That was terrible! That was... yuck! What in the name of Vic Tayback was that?
M: A montage.
SG: (French voice) Montage! French, hah? Well, that explains that, no, Moltar? (normal voice) Those French, they ruin everything! I mean, you give them an entire Disneyland, and they can't even make a dime off it. Even purple-butted baboons couldn't screw up a Disneyland! Hmmm! I tell ya, one day I oughta do somethin' about them French.
Z: (French voice) I dare you! I double dare you!
SG: Okay, I will! See if I don't! (flies off)
BG: (still making faces on the monitor)
(Phantom Cruiser flying in space)
SG: (in cockpit) Ruin my anniversary, will ya?
(Night scene of Paris, Eiffel Tower in center)
Voice (V): (with French accent) Look out! It is zee Space Ghost! (Phantom Cruiser ray blasts city)
SG: Take that, you cheese eaters!
(Blasts city again, crisps Eiffel tower; blast city around Arc de Triomphe, city is in flames, people are screaming)
Z: (French voice) Well, zat ees zat! Au reservoir, mon-sewers!
M: Bon soir! (throws lever, clip of Space Ghost being pounded into the ground reappears on monitor; title: Fin)
(French accordion music in background)
T: (in French voice) You've been watching the Space Ghost Anniversary Spectacular-mathon, celebrating thirty-seven or so episodes of talk show whatchamacallit. From all of us here, to all of you, bon oui, what you say, a good night.
BG: (shrieking laugh)
(inverted) Tom Roche
C. Martin Croker
Big Deal Cartoons
C. Martin Croker
|INK & PAINT|
|SPACE GHOST'S MALE SECRETARY|
|ORIGINAL SPACE GHOST DESIGN|
© 1997 Cartoon Network, Inc. All rights reserved.
Animated Characters TM & © 1966 Hanna Barbera Productions, Inc.
All Rights reserved.
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