Brak and Zorak Chat

Where: America Online
When: August 18, 1998

CNZorak has entered the room.
CNBrak has entered the room.
CNBrak:i was lost. i was in the buffy row. it scared me. Welcome to Brak's first chat event and Zorak's
CNBrak:i need spellcheck.
CNZorak:I am the storm cloud on the gray edge of the abyss!!!
CNZorak:It's really really gray!
CNZorak:A very dark gray!
CNBrak:i saw that movie. i liked the water monster.
CNW Pickle:I'm CNWPickle, your moderator for this evening...Brak and Zorak are here to chat about the new "Space Ghost's Surf & Turf" musical CD.
CNBrak:space ghost isn't here. he has food poisoning. ha ha.
CNZorak:I am the doomed kitty in the litter of iniquity!!!!
CNW Pickle:So let's get started with the questions!
CNBrak:zorak is too oblique for my tastes.
Question:hey brak! wanna be my girlfriend?
CNBrak:yes. do you have a car?
CNZorak:I need a girlfriend. Come to Zorak...
Question:what food do u like brak?
CNBrak:zorak doesn't kiss on the first date. he slobbers.
CNZorak:I'm gonna eat Brak if someone doesn't bring me a pizza.
CNBrak:i like beans. who doesn't?
Question:boxers or briefs?
CNZorak:Free and easy, baby!
Question:Hey guys! I love you on the SG show and I like your web pages. My question is, Part one: Do you ever resent SG for having his own show? Part two: Would either of you like your own show? I think you should have your own variety show!!!
CNZorak:I despise Space Ghost! He's lame and stupid and...lame...and STUPID!
CNBrak:having my own show would be too hard. i'd rather have my own room.
CNZorak:I don't want my own show. I WANT TO RULE YOUR PLANET!
Question:Zorak, what pays better. space ghost coast to coast or cartoon planet?
CNZorak:Neither pay ANYTHING!!!! We're slaves!!!! Frak!
CNBrak:i had five dollars one time.
Question:Zorak, how do u feel after being on jerry springer, and getting the tar beat out of u by space ghost?
CNZorakThat was all a SCAM, I tell you. He never laid a hand on me!!!
CNBrak:i spent three of the five dollars on ice. the rest i lost.
Question:brak, do u like pie?
CNZorak:Do you like to have your head bitten off?!!!
CNBrak:i like bean pie. with beans. pie a la beans.
Question:how did you two get away from space ghost to do this event?
CNZorak:I am the dark closet in the cottage of despair!!!
CNBrak:i disguised myself as garbage and moltar threw me out.
CNZorak:I hot wired the cruiser and headed south.
Question:Brak and Zorak what are your FULL names???
CNBrak:thanks for the ride, zorak. i had to hotwire a go-cart.
CNBrak:i have to pee again.
CNBrak:my name is brak, lonely guy from the room down the hall.
CNZorak:It ROCKS!!! ROCKS!!!! ROCKS!!!
CNZorak:Rock with Zorak!!
CNBrak:it rocks. it rolls. it's hip. it has notes. i sing most of it. i like all the songs i sing
Question:Where sector of space are u in?
CNZorak:We're in your closet.
CNBrak:we're in your house. don't answer the phone!
Question:BRAK: do you feel that your artistic integrity was comprimised when you posed for the picture featured on the back of the CD?
CNBrak:my feet smell so bad, i want to go to sleep.
CNZorak:You should've seen my picture. It was banned in seven countries.
CNBrak:no, actually, i'm very proud of my body.
CNBrak:i consider my body a gift that i definitely don't want to return.
Question:Brak, what is your favorite song on the cd?
CNBrak:mashed potatoes is the best song ever. period.
Question:I've heard Cartoon Planet has been cancelled. If that's true what will happen to Brak since he usually isn't on sgc2c?
CNZorak:Brak will be sent to a special home for "special" people.
CNBrak:no, we're still on. it's the only show i watch. cause i'm on it. duck.
Question:Brak - where did you get those adorable boxers?
CNZorak:I just threw something at Brak.
CNBrak:when i said duck, i didn't mean there was a duck in the room.
CNBrak:my mom made them out of some of my old boxers.
CNBrak:duck again!!!
Question:Zorak who was your favorite guest?
CNZorak:Metallica ROCKED!!! The Ramones ROCKED!!!
CNBrak:i like girls.
CNBrak:one time, i burped pizza even though i hadn't eaten any pizza.
Question:Zorak, are you crunchy or chewy?
CNBrak:zorak never bathes. how cool is that?
CNZorak:Are you stupid or DUMB?!!!
Question:If a mime falls in the woods, does he make a sound?
CNZorak:He will when I get my hammer out.
CNBrak:thank you steven wright, jr.
Question:Zorak, do you want to be the host your own show?
CNBrak:i'm here too....
CNZorak:Yes, I do. I'll call it, "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!"
Question:Hey Brak! I Love you ! ;) I'm a dedicated fan and I've been wondering, you've been drowned in gravy, zapped by SG's power bands twice, and no one ever listens to you. When's payback time? Oh and Zorak-would you like some gum?
CNBrak:one time i overslept.
CNBrak:when goes around goes around and then it stops.
CNBrakdoes anyone have any gum for my friend here?
CNZorak:I am the foul clump of pinestraw in the drainpipe of HAPPINESS!!!!
Question:Zorak, what do you do in your spare time?
CNZorak:I break things. Any other questions?
CNBrak:yes, thank you for asking. the new CD is great. buy it soon.
Question:Brak will you sing a song for me... My name is Sam
CNBrak:sam, sam, young and alive, come into my abode, little dude!
Question:What's your favorite music group, Brak & Zorak?
CNBrak:i like hanson. they rip.
CNZorak:Metallica ROCKS!!!! Marilyn Manson RULES!!!
Question:What has lokar been up to, i heard he's delivering pizza now?
CNBrak:actually, i like the cartoon planet band best. they rip.
CNZorak:He's growing some new corsages. Lokar is lame!
CNBrak:he's doing research for ted koppel.
CNZorak:He's weaving a basket, the sissy!
Question:Hey Brak, I heard you might get your own show, "Code Name: Brak", is that true?
CNZorak:What?!! You traitor!
CNBrak:yes. and no. and yes. but, possibly, no. but probably....yes.
CNZorak:Frik and Frak and Frik and Frak!
Question:Zorak... why doesn't anyone ask you questions???
CNBrak:because he's stupid.
CNZorak:Way to go, Einstein. Write me when you get a BRAIN!!!
CNBrak:what is this frik and frak hooey?
Question:What songs are on the new CD?
CNZorak:All of 'em!
CNZorak:Start reading them, Brak.
CNBrak:all the songs that weren't on the first cd.
CNBrak:and of course, mashed potatoes, which is the best song ever.
CNZorak:We may go on tour...shhhhhhh....
CNZorak:If Space Ghost can leave his mommy for long enough.
CNBrak:we did a new techno version of "the theme to bonanza"
Question:Hey Zorak, How did you go from a cartoon in the 1960's to a television show in the 1990's
CNBrak:i lied about that "bonanza" thing.
CNZorak:I drove. It was a dark, bad street with almost no lighting at all. I could feel the cold sweat on my back.
CNBrak:it was actually a techno version of "carwash"
Question:all hail BRAK!
CNBrak:i got confused.
Question:Can I have your autographs???? Heres a Sharpie ())___SHARPIE___))>
CNBrak:my fingers hurt.
CNZorak:Here you go, kid. Don't sell it.
Question:Zorak, what was your childhood like?
CNBrak:zorak ate his own mom. how nutty is that?
CNZorak:It was full of impossible mazes and loud clanging noises that drove me mad with the fever!
Question:Brak, I love your singing. Have you ever taken voice lessons?
CNBrak:yes, they were conducted in my bathtub.
QuestionBrak and Zorak do you collect anything.. I collect toe jam and buttons...
CNBrak:you do not collect toe jam!
CNZorak:I collect bones. Broken ones. DO NOT LAUGH!!!!
CNBrak:you're just trying to be funny.
Question:Is there anywhere that your shows can be purchased on videotape?
CNBrak:yes, we'll be at the thunderbird drive in theater in delray beach this sunday selling them
Question:did you guys sell out?
CNBrak:not yet. we have 40 copies left.
Question:Zorak, what would you do if you got ahold of the power bands?
CNZorak:I would strap them on admire myself in the mirror..."Pretty, pretty power bands," I'd say.
CNBrakzorak just burped on me.
CNZorakThen I'd blast you all to Thanksgiving.
Question:hey brak do you ever feel sorry for zorak when he gets blasted or do you just laugh? I laugh!
CNBrak:i feel sorry for him THEN i laugh.
CNZorak:I like being blasted. It reminds me I'm alive!!!
CNBrak:moo kaluka is on the new cd. i like that one.
Question:Do you two have any pets?
CNZorak:I have a rattlesnake named Clementine.
CNZorak:She bites.
CNBrak:i have a fish named floyd. he likes to ride around with me in my shoe.
Question:Zorak, one day you will rule the universe. Can I help???
CNZorak:What are your credentials?!!! Can you take dictation?!!! I could really use that NOW.
Question:What do intergalactic supervillains do on their days off?
CNZorak:I go down to the sewer and see what I can squish between my toes.
CNBrak:i just sit around in my own bath water.
Question:Can someone see this message?
CNZorak:Not at all.
CNBrak:what message?
Question:Zorak why are you evil?
CNZorakOh, a question.
CNZorak:I'm evil because my heart's too small.
CNZorak:Perhaps you saw my Christmas special.
CNBrak:i am the static cling on the shrunken t-shirt of that was on sale!
Question:Hey Brak, do you or do you NOT Wear a mask?
CNBrak:i do when i am and don't when i'm not.
CNZorak:Have any of you people ever typed with pincers?! I think not!
Question:Zorak, how come you ate Raymond
CNZorak:Because he smelled like a little daisy.
CNZorak:But he didn't digest like one.
Question:since there is no intelligent life within hundreds of light years of earth, and television signals travel at the speed of light, are your shows actually done centuries ago, and they just take a really long time to get here?
CNZorakThe Sci-Fi Channel Room is to your right.
CNBrak:hey, i'm not a biology teacher!
Question:CNBrak what is the meaning of life?
CNBrak:life is like a box of's good for wiping your nose.
CNZorak:Life is a foul-smelling drink best served with spite.
Question:Brak and Zorak can I have a FREE copy of the CD???
CNZorak:I don't know...can you steal one?
CNBrak:sure, if you can be here in 18 minutes.
Question:how do you come up with the songs?
CNBrak:they come up by themselves. like bad fishcakes.
Question:brak, on the set of space ghost, where exactly are you ?
CNBrak:right next to the first aid box.
Question:Zorak did you go to school if so what grades did u get?
CNZorak:Straight Fs. I made the Dishonor Roll for four straight years.
CNZorak:What?!!! We have a SHOW?!!!
CNBrak:cartoon planet is on at night. Highway 40 revisited, it is clear that you are not "Driving down highway 40" when you write the song. you claim to have written the song when driving down highway 40...are you lying to us?
CNZorak:Lying like dew on morning roadkill.
CNBrakactually, zorak was driving. i was tied to the roof.
Question:Is it true Space Ghost is going to resign due to an "inappropriate relationship," and that Moltar is going to take over the desk?
CNZorak:Those were my prayers you were hearing.
CNZorak:He had an inappropriate relationship with his mirror.
CNBrak:zorak doesn't pray...even though he's supposed to be a praying mantis. ironic, isn't it?
Question:Why did you decide to make the cd?
CNZorak:Nobody was buying 8 tracks.
CNZorak:Just look at Zorak...look at the letters of my name!!! Let them entrance you!!!
CNBrak:zorak, did you bathe today?
CNZorak:Come to Zorak...come to Zorak!!!
CNZorak:What's a bathe?
Question:Zorak, if you could do ANYTHING to Space Ghost to make him miserable, what would it be?
CNBrak:that lady in row 7 has my mom's face.
CNBrak:give it back!!!!
CNZorak:I would pull out his nose hairs one by one and fashion a tiny hat with them.
CNBrak:hi, my name is brak.
Question:Brak what kinda message do you have for Todays Kids?
CNBrak:if life hands you lemons, use the lemons to make orange juice.
Question:Brak, You are smart. Why don't you take over Ghost planet?
CNBrak:your smart. why don't you ask a better question?
CNZorak:Space Ghost where are you? Is Space Ghost in the audience?
CNZorak:Here, Spacey Spacey...
CNBrak:i live on idaho, the potato planet. it's a planet of industry.
CNZorak:I live on Alcatraz, the prison planet. It's the planet of penitentiary.
Question:Do any of you play your own instruments on the CD..and if so...which one of you does a drum solo? ::opens up a fresh pack of gum:::
CNBrak:check out my new show, codename:brak, starting tonight.
CNBrak:i play classic guitar, farfisi organ, and the whoopee cushion on tracks 3,6 and 78.
CNZorak:I play everything that isn't tied down...which is less than you'd think when I get in the studio.
CNZorak:See, I had a misunderstanding with the studio owner.
CNBrak:hi, my name is bark.
CNZorak:He thinks I stole his daughter.
CNBrak:hi, my name is kevin costner.
Question:Zorak, why are you and Brak doing this gig? Is space to good for us no?
Question:Or is this part of you public service you are forced to do? Brak...If i could i would keep you in a clean hankie, and dust you off every other day.
CNZorakFly, Brak, fly! You're free!
CNBrak:hi, my name is woody hayes.
CNZorakThey said they wanted the talent behind the show. He couldn't argue.
CNBrak:every other day? every other day! every other day, you say!!! what was the question?
Question:Zorak, what's the deal with the "Lone locust of the Apocalypse" thingy? Act like a MANtis!
CNBrak:hi, my name is freddy and the dreamers.
CNZorak:I'll act like a mantis...but I'll walk like an EGYPTIAN!!!!
CNBrak:what did the wall say to the floor?
CNBrak:hi, my name is the wall.
Question:Zorak: Are you a Praying Mantis, or just an intelligent grasshopper?
CNZorak:I'm Jiminy "Freakin'" Cricket. Now go to bed!
CNBrak:when is this going to end?
CNBrak:my foot is asleep.
CNZorak:It's past Brak's bed time.
CNBrak:hi, my name is senator orin hatch.
CNW Pickle:Thanks to everyone for coming tonight!
CNZorak:Hey, everybody, look at my words! Do they incite you to EVIL?!!!
CNBrak:buy the cd! thank you everybody. you been a great audience! i'm here all week!
CNW Pickle:We'd like to take this opportunity to remind you that the new CD "Space Ghost's Surf & Turf" is in stores now!
CNBrakgoodnight, colonel rundig!
CNZorak:If you try really hard, maybe you we can make the sun go away! No more sun! No more sun!
CNZorak:No more sun!
CNBrak:goodnight puddles! he's my dog. puddles.
CNW Pickle:Also, don't forget to check out Space Ghost's daily entertainment news ---only at
CNZorak:Tell them Harry Carey sent you.
CNBrak:guess why we call him puddles and win 5 dollars.
CNZorak:See you later, SUCKERS!!!
CNBrak:we're getting dumped! heeeellllpppp!!!!

Copyright 1998 Cartoon Network, Inc.

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